PHASES OF DELUSION

WORDS & IMAGES: AHDREAM SMITH

ALLURE

Scents of fresh dough dance in my nostrils

Thoughts of the drizzled glaze slip covering her curves excite my imagination

Golden brown exterior

Soft and fluffy interior

Hot and fresh

GUILT

Doctor says she's not good for me

She's impacting my heart

Raising my blood pressure

I need to cut back

I try to explain that I don't indulge on purpose

I start with one

It melting on the tongue like a frozen ice cube on a hot summer day

Three seconds later, nine of the dozen are remaining

DENIAL

Doctor tells me if I keep messing with her I could lose my vision

Lose my limbs

Lose my life

Says I'm walking a thin line and a future of diabetes and medications are around the corner

Doc, I'm young, I don't smoke or drink

What's a little quality time here and there

Plus, we only meet when the RED LIGHT is on

 

In the “Diabetes Belt,” specifically in Memphis, TN, Krispy Kreme is King. Reaching young people early through promotional discounts throughout the school year: free doughnuts to students for every “A” that they get on their report card. Always go when the light was on. Your doughnuts were guaranteed to be HOT and FRESH. Being a pretty smart kid in school, report card time was always a time that I looked forward to.  

 

Fast forward, I now live in a place that has only one Krispy Kreme in the region and I have family and friends dealing with diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol due to their environment and being in a state of delusion regarding their health. To them, it’s just something else to deal with, but for me I feel like they are one step closer to death. Choosing the temporary satisfaction of the “red light” quick fix, that soothing cold cup of southern sweet tea, them sweet and tangy sodium filled short ribs over being here with me; creating memories and having experiences. 

Kate Weiner

Feeling held this sweet summer evening by a sea of sunflowers. Visiting my local community garden in the evening light has become a beloved ritual this summer & I'm grateful beyond words to the growers who planted these blooms for the sheer beauty. What a gift.
In an inspiring interview, the rad Brittany Ducham @spellboundherbals explores the intersections of the personal & political thru her work as a community herbalist. Shares Brittany: "I nurture my work with curiosity, subversive optimism, with a determination to decolonize, and an understanding that I'm going to be vulnerable, make mistakes, and keep showing up." Visit Loam at the link in our bio to read our conversation in full.
The farmers' market is how I vote for the world I want. It's how I give back to a community that's nourished me in so many ways (working on farms throughout the US has taught me a whole lotta about soil & soul) and it's how I learn about what's growing green in my neck of the woods. I don't take it for granted that I live near to an affordable market where I can shop imperfect fruit & veg (like the beauties above) for a fraction of the cost. And I'm feeling especially thankful today for the relationships I've built with my growers. From being gifted a loaf of heritage bread to scooping up peppers & beans in bulk, my heart is full from the abundance, generosity, and good folks surrounding. But the beautiful thing is that you don't need to live near to a market to start learning the stories of your growers. Talk to your neighbor whose yard is blooming with echinacea; reach out to your grandparent who has always found communion in their tomato harvest. Everyone of us likely knows a grower who might not set up shop at the market but still has sage wisdom to share. Talk to them, learn from them, and grow with them.
Midday magic thanks to a walk thru one of my favorite local nurseries. I grew up in a home overflowing with books & plants and I still can't think of a sweeter recipe for nurturing everyday resiliency than tending to plants. Taking care of my own plant babies has taught me SO much about patience, perseverance, and passion—those qualities that are essential to sustaining activism. Power to the plants!
Profoundly inspired by @annabrones recent post. Her invitation to "create instead of consume" spoke to me so deeply. As I sit this morning & journal, surrounded by my plant babies & gems from journeys past (like these luscious lilac shells I pocketed during my visit to Woodland Keep @demetria.provatas ) I feel full of love for the many makers & movers in my life whose art is energizing ecological change. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Send a love note today to an artist in your life 🌿
"I challenge myself to break open what it can mean to live into resistance on a daily basis. Most people cannot live on the road traveling from one rally to the next, nor should they. I want to continue to open peoples hearts to the possibility of practicing resistance through fully embodying ones own life. What happens when more people get interested in making subtle shifts on a daily basis? What happens when we start to define our successes by the food we grow and the relationships we caretake?" The luminous Loam Artist-in-Residence Kailea @harnessyourbreath talks to @zerowastehabesha about everyday resistance & regeneration as part of the rad "Representation Matters" project. Visit @zerowastehabesha for the full-length interview.