WORDS & IMAGE: KIMORA BROCK
Sitting in a car without a radio system during LA traffic can feel lethal at times (and not just because of how carbon consumptive it is). Without distractions, I'm forced to face whatever difficulties are arising in my life.
The feeling of being flooded with emotion as soon as the reality of a situation sets in is something we are all familiar with. Whether your emotion is positive or less than positive, it is evidence that we are living the human experience.
Right now, my reality consists of intensive acting Monday-Friday from 9-5, exercising, working my money makers to save for a new place when my lease ends, doing projects to build my reel, and auditioning for more projects. The grind really never stops.
For me, the questions that appear in my mind when I'm stuck in traffic are:
Am I going to be able to find a new place when my lease ends in a month?
Should I pick up another job to help make ends meet?
Why didn't I get that short film I auditioned for?
Is my car going to run until I'm able to afford a new one?
As I drive to and from my catering job these questions hit me the hardest. Maybe because I am so harshly reminded during work as a waiter that I am just the help to these "high society" industry professionals I'm serving. Maybe it's the comparisons that I make as I park my '95 volvo among the 2015 luxury cars in the lot.
Although each of us can get trapped in a compare and despair mentality, you CANNOT let these fears get to you.
I mentioned the practice of meditation a bit earlier in the column and all of the wonderful benefits it provides including a more clear, focused and productive mind. Through my meditation practice I am learning to combat these abrasive questions by "trusting the process," I'm also learning how to be dedicated to putting in all of the work required to achieve my goals.
No matter the project I booked during the week, or other personal gains in my life, I am always humbled from my work in the service industry, and for that, I am grateful. I'm learning to never compare my journey to others, and to accept my current situation for what it is. I know for a fact that I won't be where I am now forever, as change is the only constant thing in this world. I keep in mind that even though some situations might seem difficult, I need to be grateful for and open to learning from the experiences that I'm going through.
Plus I'll have some struggles to rap about when my mixtape drops ;)
Love and light,