HEALTH AND WELLNESS: Bringing Self-Compassion Into Your Life
lWORDS: KIMORA BROCK
IMAGE: KATE WEINER
Secret or no secret, I have a drill sergeant for a mind. I am so very hard on myself. Although it's a part of me that I don’t share with many, I feel that this information could definitely help others and that's why I want to share my experiences with LOAM. Whether it was coming second in track and field, getting less than stellar grades, or going through a learning curve during dance choreography, I always judged myself harshly in my push to succeed. Honestly, there isn’t any critique you can say to me that I haven’t thought of and amplified by 1000. Even as a child, I didn’t even give my parents the chance to parent before I had already determined for myself that I hadn't done enough. This attitude has definitely brought me a strong will to achieve but at what cost?
As an actor and student of life, the goal is to break down those walls you have built and live with your heart and true self exposed. Although this sounds scary and is definitely not for the faint of heart, these protective walls do not allow you to feel all of the experiences life has to offer. When you put up defenses, you end up not truly living and making choices, but instead merely reacting to others. I constantly find myself unlearning behaviors and actions I've adopted in the past.
It would be so easy to say, "Kimora just stop criticizing yourself." But alas, I have gone down that rabbit hole and ended up criticizing myself for not being able to stop saying negative things about myself. So instead:
- When you find you’re criticizing yourself, say something positive to balance every critique. Eventually you will love feeling the positivity so much more than the negativity you impose. With time, your list of positives will outweigh the negatives.
- Ask yourself, is what you're thinking actually the cold hard truth, or are your thoughts mere exaggerations of the mind? For this step, being able to change your perspective is crucial. At first you could think, yes of course this is true. But when you really think about it, you'll realize that every event is a story you tell yourself. You are responsible for the story and its energy. It's with practice that we become better people, more truthful storytellers, and less inhibited by the negative thoughts in our mind.
- Let others criticize you. This final step may sound strange, but you don’t need to criticize yourself as there will be plenty of people doing that for you and you can either take their opinion or keep doing you. Whatever you decide, remember that IT’S YOUR DECISION. Whatever people criticize you for, journal about why you should embrace it! People are usually insecure about the things in their life that aren’t normal. But it's these "abnormalities" that makes you different. THAT is what makes you stand out. THAT is what you have to offer the world.
Love and light,